How to Deal with Stress, Anxiety, and Overwhelm
THE JUNK DRAWER
At our house it’s called “the everything drawer,” maybe you call it “the junk drawer.” You know the drawer I’m talking about, right? It’s the place in your house where you put all the little things that don’t really have a home, things you may or may not use again. Hold the image of that drawer in your mind while we shift gears a bit.
Your brain has an emotional junk drawer. Think of it as the place where your brain locks up and stores all the emotions you don’t have time or ability to process. Just like your physical junk drawer this space in your brain is a useful tool when you need to stash your emotions in the heat of a stressful moment. Think of snatching a child from an oncoming car, dealing with the aftermath of an auto accident or being forced to evacuate in case of a fire as examples. In these situations processing your emotions needs to take a step back as you deal with the immediate needs of the moment. We get into trouble though when stress keeps coming or the turmoil is too much and we have no time or resources to adequately process what we’re feeling.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE DON’T PROCESS THE JUNK?
Let’s go back to the physical junk drawer. Imagine for a moment that little drawer in your house that is already filled with trinkets has a stack of paper next to it. Every time you encounter turmoil you can’t fully process, one piece of paper is crumpled and stuffed in your junk drawer.
Check the news and there’s still chaos in the world? - Paper in the junk drawer.
Spend a little time on social media? - Paper in the junk drawer.
Get on the scale? - Paper in the junk drawer.
A fight with your kids, spouse, barista, boss, neighbor, or friend? - Paper in the junk drawer.
Someone burns dinner? - Paper in the junk drawer.
Run out of coffee. - Paper in the junk drawer.
Unwillingly homeschool and remote work in the same space? - Lots of paper in the junk drawer.
And this is just a regular Tuesday.
HOW HEAVY IS YOUR JUNK DRAWER?
What happens when the turmoil gets bigger and the emotions are heavier? More paper in the junk drawer: until eventually you’re smashing the paper down with your foot and shoving the drawer closed with your hip so you can move on to the next news story, zoom meeting, masked grocery trip, or necessary task on your to do list. At some point the drawer will reach capacity and you will have to deal with the mess inside or it will deal with you.
When our emotional junk drawers go untended we might experience symptoms of the overload like stress, anxiety, grief, depression and other emotional distress. These symptoms are not necessarily signs of mental illness or a medical problem with the brain, rather think of them as emotional fatigue or mental stress in varying degrees.
Images of our nation's capitol under attack, angry rantings on social media or news outlets, the stress of a pandemic, shuttered businesses, and loneliness coupled with uncertainty have been shoving paper in all our emotional junk drawers for the past year or more. If you’re feeling exhausted, have a short fuse, can’t seem to think straight, have knots in your stomach, are struggling to sleep well or just don’t feel like yourself it may be helpful to take some steps to sort out and empty your emotional junk drawer.
HOW TO UNPACK THE JUNK DRAWER
Here are a few ways to start unpacking your junk and get back to feeling more like yourself:
Journal. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write down what you’re feeling. Come back tomorrow and give it another 5 minutes. Journaling about our feelings gives the emotions a place to go other than our junk drawer.
Physical exercise (with a friend). - Thirty minutes of exercise a day can have the same benefit as some antidepressant medications. Going with a friend helps keep you accountable and has the added benefit of social interaction.
Get some sleep. - Being well rested can only help as you deal with whatever life brings your way. To start, set a regular bedtime and turn your screens off at least an hour before your head hits the pillow.
Prayer. - Set a timer on your phone and spend a few minutes in prayer. Try starting with praise, moving into confession, then giving thanks and finally bringing your requests before God.
Implement media boundaries. - Too much screen time isn’t good for your sense of wellbeing, not to mention a constant inflow of information is more than we were meant to process. Consider only checking the news for 30 minutes in the evening, implementing a screen free week or taking a social media break.
Data dump your brain. - When your thoughts are racing give them a landing zone. Grab a piece of paper and just write whatever comes to mind as it flows through your brain. Keep writing until the thoughts stop or for a set amount of time.
Talk with a friend. - Sometimes all it takes to feel better is to know you’re not alone. Call a friend, go for a walk, grab coffee 6 feet apart and let the social interaction help boost your mood.
Seek professional help. - Seek the help of a professional if your symptoms last for several days or if you find yourself unable to pull out of the slump on your own. A mental health professional can help you process everything that’s going on and recommend personalized options to help you get back to feeling like yourself.
You don’t have to tap into all these resources all at once. Pick one or two to try this week and see what happens. Your family, friends, and junk drawer just might thank you.
If you’re looking for someone to empty the junk drawer with, now is the perfect time to join a Life Groups. In Life Groups, we build the kind of friendships where you can authentically share the junk drawer in a judgement free zone and grow in your relationship with Jesus. You can email our Groups Pastor, David Krall at davidk@vintagegrace.org to inquire about Life Groups.